Why I Became a Relational Life Therapy
Growing up across different countries, political systems and cultures, I became fascinated by how differently people understand love and partnership. I saw how culture, money, power and social hierarchy shape what we expect from relationships—who leads, who compromises, whose needs matter, and what intimacy is allowed to look like.
Relationships do not develop in isolation. We build our lives within the context of the world around us. Our families of origin teach us what love is supposed to feel like, while our cultures give us often-unspoken rules about marriage, gender, loyalty, success, conflict and responsibility. We may leave the country or family in which we were raised, but we often carry those rules into our closest relationships without realizing it.
This understanding is personal to me as well. My husband and I share a multicultural, blended family with five children between us. Like every real family, ours has required us to navigate differences, histories, roles, expectations and the ongoing work of building a life together.
Most of us grow up with some version of "happily ever after." Later, we are told that relationships take work—but very few of us are taught what that work actually is. What do we do when love is present, but understanding is not? How do we remain close without losing ourselves? How do we tell the truth, repair hurt, negotiate differences and continue choosing each other through the changing seasons of a life?
It took a long personal and professional journey for me to begin finding answers to these questions. Today, I help other people find their own.
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